BioWare, my darling, where did we go wrong? We were so much in love when you made Knights of the Old Republic and Jade Empire. Those were lovely days, filled with flowers, lightsabers and Raphael Sbarge. We had something truly special. Drew Karpyshyn wrote of Darth Malak and Revan, and Bastila and the crew while furthering the Star Wars universe to heights never before imagined (sorry George, you’re dead to me.)
Those were great days. And beyond my wildest expectations, you got even better. Star Wars wasn’t your thing anymore. You had to do your own thing. And I was there for you. Mass Effect dropped in 2007. And where was I? On the couch. With a controller. Playing the shit out of it. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. Action, plain and simple. None of this point-and-click crap. Micromanaging, Customized Armor loadouts, weapon customization. BW, you were golden babe. You had me at “I should go.”
So together, with a rag-tag group of misfits from all corners of the galaxy, we stopped Sovereign. Say what you want, BW- we were in it together.
And then what? You had to be all like “I need to find my stride.”
So I let you go, and you became Mass Effect 2. God you were so HOT! And to be honest, you got better. Pssh, as if THAT were possible. But you did it. Old friends, new characters. It was amazing. Gone were the customized loadouts, but in their place were new and exciting features. Improved story-telling. Truly consequential decision-making. People lives were riding on my shoulders, thanks to you. And when I saved each and every one of them, I knew we were in it together. I considered and reconsidered everything I had done up to this point. And I was happy. We were happy together, BW.
I waited and waited while you experimented with your life. New DLC, Dragon Age- you worked hard to find your stride, I get that. I wouldn’t take that away from you. You earned a respite from the sci-fi opus.
You returned with more and more substantial DLC. And it was good. Arrival made the ending of Mass Effect 2 seem even better. And even though Dragon Age 2 was kind of bust, I let it go. Mass Effect was just too good to ignore.
We had a serious event looming in our future. Our relationship stood on the precipice. Mass Effect 3 was soon coming out. God, BW- we were going so strong together. I thought it could never end.
You had some fun publicity with FemShep. And then some awesome footage at E3. And oh man, even though you teased me so hard in NYC this year by only launching one Space Edition (I was on the wrong side of the city. Daaaaamn!) I was still waiting with open arms. Even on-disk DLC, it’s not evil- it’s just your way. I can accept that- and I did.
And then it hit. The most glorious game I’ve played in decades. Everything about was dramatically improved. The choices, seeing old friends. Just the overall scale of the game was a sight to behold. I played for hours and hours, right up to the end.
And that’s where I learned what I truly meant to you, BW. I learned how you truly felt about me. And it’s not what I hoped at all.
I want something better, BioWare. I know I do, and I’m not the only one. I guess we’re just in different places right now… You want to do your own thing. I know EA is big on Origin, and- hey, it’s cool. You have to play by their rules. But, don’t forget about me. Don’t forget you owe me something better. I have put too much time and effort into this relationship to not get something better out of it.
Consider us over.